Top Elf Pet Peeves
- After too much eggnog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands."
- Ever since they hit the big time, those damn Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.
-Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
- That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
- You're enjoying the Jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
- Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey septuplets.
- It's at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest strip club.
- Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box marked "elf."
- Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.